Carpe diem!

(覺得這圖片很符合意境，就借用了:P)

Two years ago I found an image of a kid with her hands covering her face. A seatbelt reached across her torso, riding up her neck and a mop of blonde hair stayed swept, for the moment, behind her ears. Her eyes seemed clear and calm but not blank, the road behind her seemed the same. I put myself in her seat then I played it all out in my head. The claustrophobia hits as the seatbelt tightens, preventing me from even leaning forward in my seat. the pressing on internal organs. I lean back and forward to release it. Then backwards and forward again. There it is—I got free. How much of my life has happened inside of a car? I wonder if the odds are that I'll die in one. Knock on wood-grain. Shouldn’t speak like that. We live in cars in some cities, commuting across space either for our livelihood, or devouring fossil fuels for joy. It's close to as much time as we spend in our beds, more for some. The first time I did shrooms, my manager had to come rescue me from Caltech’s ‘Trip Day.’ As I got into her car, I swear to God the aluminum center console in her Porsche truck looked like it was breathing, like the throat of something. On the freeway, leaving Pasadena, we spoke and I looked away, outside, at the wheels and tires of cars doing that optical illusion thing they do where it looks like they’re spinning backwards, which, according to Google, happens because our brains are assuming something completely wrong and showing it to us. Staring, I was transfixed by all the indicator lights oscillating and throbbing against the wind. We drove thru downtown LA headed west, flying on the same freeways I used to run outta gas on. Welcomed in by the perennial creatures, imperial palm trees and climbing vines living their lives out just off the shoulder. The feeling familiar enhanced, on the 10. I used to ride around in my sinewy crossover SUV, smoke and listen to rough mixes of my old shit before it came out, or whatever someone wanted to play when they hooked up their iPhone to the aux cord. A few years and few daily-drivers later I'm not driving much anymore.

It's been a year since I moved to London, at the time of writing this, and there's no practical reason to drive in this city. I ordered a GT3 RS and it'll keep low miles out here but I guess it's good to have in case of emergency :) Raf Simons once told me it was cliché, my whole car obsession. Maybe it links to a deep subconscious straight boy fantasy. Consciously though, I don't want straight—a little bent is good. I found it romantic, sometimes, editing this project. The whole time I felt as though I was in the presence of a $16m McLaren F1 armed with a disposable camera. My memories are in these pages, places closeby and long ass-numbing flights away. Cruising the suburbs of Tokyo in RWB Porsches. Throwing parties around England and mobbing freeways in four project M3S that I built with some friends. Going to Mississippi and playing in the mud with amphibious quads. Street-casting models at a random kung fu dojo out in Senegal. Commissioning life-size toy boxes for the fuck of it. Shooting a music video for fun with Tyrone Lebon, the genius giant. Taking a break/reconnaissance mission to Tulum, Mexico, enjoying some star visibility for a change. Recording in Tokyo, NYC, Miami, LA, London, Paris. Stopping in Berlin to witness Berghain for myself. Trading jewels and soaking in parables with the many-headed Brandon aka BasedGod in conversation. I wrote a story in the middle—It’s called “Godspeed.” It's basically a reimagined part of my boyhood.

Boys do cry, but I don't think I shed a tear for a good chunk of my teenage years. It's surprisingly my favorite part of life so far. Surprising, to me, because the current phase is what I was asking the cosmos for when I was a kid. Maybe that part had its rough stretches too, but in my rearview mirror it's getting small enough to convince myself it was all good. And really though... It's still all good.

兩年前，我發現一張小孩用手摀住臉的照片，安全帶繞在她身上，蓋住脖子及其耳根後方那頭浸溼的金髮；她的眼神清澈、冷靜，卻沒有任何一絲空洞，身後的道路也是一樣。我開始想像坐在位置上的是自己，並讓畫面不斷在腦中播放…但當安全帶一繫緊，幽閉恐懼症卻向我襲來，連稍稍從座位上起個身都不行，我不斷讓身體前後搖晃，想減輕那種…體內器官被擠壓的感覺，然後繼續前後搖晃，終於…我掙脫了！ 究竟我的一生之中要耗多少時間在車裡啊？ 有時我會好奇…自己死在車裡的機率會是多少？ (呸呸呸！ 狂敲自己的頭)幹我不應該那麼說的，畢竟開著它翻山越嶺，要嗎是為了生活，要嗎豪邁地燃燒汽油而已。其實我們待在車上的時間，並不比在床上的時間少…對有些人來說可能會多一點。而當我第一次”嗑蘑菇”時，經紀人不得不把我從那所謂的”加州理工環遊日”中解救出來，當我爬進她的保時捷時…我敢向上天發誓，那些鋁製的控制器看起來就像會呼吸的喉嚨還是啥那樣。在離開帕薩迪納的高速公路上，我們聊著天，接著我便看向窗外，那車輪看起來…好像不斷地在倒退、旋轉著(根據Google，我們的頭腦會假設，某些東西會以完全相反的方式顯現在眼前。)，看著看著，我突然被那些閃爍的指示燈光及呼呼吹過的風聲給嚇住了。我們一路穿過洛杉磯，朝西開去，在那條我曾耗盡汽油的高速公路上全速急駛著，而迎面而來的，是不斷滋生的新生命、是大片大片的棕梠葉…那些蔓延的葡萄藤恣意地生長著，一切正完全變成熟悉的樣子…。以前我常開著那輛龐大的混合SUV在附近閒晃，一邊抽著菸，一邊聽著我那些從未面世的粗糙作品，或是那些人家用iPhone連接播放的音樂等。經過這幾年的”例行公事”之後，我再也沒這麼頻繁地開過車了。

當我寫下這些東西時，其實已經在倫敦待差不多一年有了。儘管沒有任何在這城市正當開車的理由，我還是租了輛GT3 RS以備萬一，但不會開很快就是(笑臉)。有一次Raf Simons跟我說，你那種對車的完全狂熱根本是過時的觀念…或許吧。但這卻能讓我能跟潛意識深處那個…對”直男”的幻想稍微有點連結，儘管就表層意識來說，我並不想成為直男—”彎”一點其實挺好的。

在為Boys Don’t Cry校訂的期間，我發覺自己得變的更浪漫一點才行，當時整個過程就像坐在耗資1600萬美元、裝有可拆式相機的F1邁凱倫上，而這些回憶，可能會散落在書頁之間、或離我很近的地方，或那種要坐到屁股發麻才會到達的地方…像是開著RWB保時捷在東京的郊區馳騁、在英國四處開趴、跟朋友們開著改裝好的4輛寶馬M3在高速公路上狂飆、去密西西比開一台水陸兩用車，在泥地中兜個幾圈、在塞內加爾的某間功夫道場隨便挑一下Model、為了某個無聊理由，把自己塞進真人大小的玩具箱裡、跟才華洋溢的Tyrone Lebon一起拍支好玩的MV、在墨西哥的Tulum稍作休息，並趁機探勘一下，順便觀賞星辰的變化、在東京、紐約、邁阿密、洛杉磯、倫敦、巴黎等地方錄歌、在柏林親身體驗了Berghain有多high、跟Brandon(aka BasedGod)一塊喇賽、談天說地…途中還順便寫了”Godspeed”，靈感來自於我想像中重新來過的，年少時期。

男孩子真的會哭，但不是因為年少時期那段美好的記憶而落淚，但這，卻意外地成為我人生中最喜愛的一部分，而令人想不到的是，這居然是我小時候向上帝祈求的那種人生；也許，這樣的人生並不好過，但當我轉頭向後看，那種苦澀卻渺小到令我相信：人生其實挺美好的…而直到現在，我依舊過的很好。

-----來自於Frank為專輯Blonde及雜誌Boys Don't Cry所寫下的序文

(字實在小的很靠北)

作為個人去年年度最佳歌曲，不介紹一下好像說不過去 (然而上面的序文已經幫忙"介紹"完了lol)

其實Frank在與紐約時報的訪問中有提到：

這首歌曲寫的是，明明這段感情不是任何一方的一廂情願，彼此之間也有共通點

但我們就是...無法連接在一起，感覺像是彼此不在同一個頻率那樣。

的確，世界這麼大

要找到一個真正能與自己心意相通的人談何容易？

一如[通靈少女]的主角謝雅真一樣，明明自己只是跟其他人"不一樣"了點

為何要受到他人異樣的眼光？

作為一張靠北難啃專輯中，情感表達最真誠的存在之一(另一首為White Farrari)

開場以acoustic吉他帶出Frank略帶撕裂感...但是真摯的嗓音

唱著對舊愛的思念與感懷，想躺在他與新歡之間，重溫過往的青澀回憶

面對曾經讓自己傷心的那個人，自己卻隱忍不住滿溢的情感...

兩分半鐘後，沉痛的吶喊及弦樂加入，是整首歌最美的地方

彷彿像黑洞一樣，把聽者整個吸入Frank幽暗的內心世界...(聽到這裡簡直升天了)

隨後無止盡的回音，像是在喊：

再見了，我曾經的愛

但在離去之前

可否讓我們把時光倒轉

回到那個，我們依舊相愛的夏天？

....

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Self Control   克制自己

Pool side convo about your summer last night, oh yeah

About your summer last night

Ain't give you no play, mm

Could I make you shive last night?

Could I make you shy on the last night, last night?

Could we make it in? Do we have time?

那個夏天的夜裡

我們在池塘旁聊著天：

「恩…昨晚玩的還開心嗎？」

「不然我讓你再爽一次？」

「不然跟你玩整個晚上？ 好不好？」

 ….

「想必你一定爽夠了吧？」

「那我們以後再約個時間，好嗎？」

I'll be the boyfriend in your wet dreams tonight

Noses on a rail, little virgin wears the white

You cut your hair but you used to live a blonded life

Wish I was there, wish we'd grown up on the same advice

And our time was right

今晚，我好想當你春夢中的那個男朋友

我們的鼻子湊到白線兩邊

你一下吸太多，像穿了白衣一樣

你的頭髮曾長到能遮住眼睛，但現在卻全部剪掉了

真希望我能在你身邊，真希望我們能一起長大

真希望在對的時間遇見你

Keep a place for me, for me

I'll sleep between y'all, it's no thing

It's no thing, it's no thing

Keep a place for me, for me

留個位置給我…給我…

就剛好睡在你們中間而已，沒有甚麼的…

沒有甚麼…真的沒有甚麼…

留個位置給我…好嗎？

Now and then you miss it, sounds make you cry

Some nights you dance with tears in your eyes

I came to visit 'cause you see me like a UFO

That's like never, 'cause I made you use your self control

And you made me lose my self control, my self control

有時候，我的歌會讓你想起以前，讓你流下眼淚

那些夜晚，你獨自踩著舞步，幾乎要化成淚水

於是我前去見你，誰叫你一直把我當成幽浮呢？

你說是因為，我能讓你克制自己，好似我們從未深深愛過

但我就是…就是…無法控制內心的那把火

Keep a place for me, for me

I'll sleep between y'all, it's no thing

Keep a place for me

It's nothing, it's no thing

It's nothing, it's no thing

在你心裡留個位置給我…給我…

就剛好在你們彼此之間，這沒有甚麼…

請你留個位置給我…好嗎？

沒有甚麼…真的沒有甚麼…

沒有甚麼…真的沒有甚麼…

Sometimes you'll miss it and the sound

Will make you cry

And some nights you're dancing

With tears in your eyes

有時候你會想念…

那些讓你傷心的歌

某些晚上你會踩起舞步         

眼淚卻不爭氣地，潺潺滴成一條河

I, I, I

Know you gotta leave, leave, leave

Take down some summer time

Give up, just tonight, night, night

I, I, I

Know you got someone comin'

You're spitting game, know you got it

I, I, I

Know you gotta leave, leave, leave

Take down some summer time

Give up, just tonight, night, night

I, I, I

Know you got someone comin'

You're spitting game, know you got it

(Nobody else, nobody else)

I, I, I

Know you gotta leave, leave, leave

Take down some summer time

Give up, just tonight, night, night

I, I, I

Know you got someone comin'

You're spitting game, know you got it

我…我…我

知道你將離我而去…而去…而去

那要不要趁著夏天來臨時

解放自己，就在今晚…今晚…今晚…

我…我…我

也知道你早已有了約

現在他來了，還不去討一個歡心？

(沒有其他人…沒有其他人…)

我…我…我

知道你已離我而去…而去…而去

那要不要趁著夏天來臨時

解放自己，就在今晚…今晚…今晚…

我…我…我

也知道你早已有了約

現在他來了，趕快去見他吧！       

(沒有其他人…沒有其他人…)

我…我…我

知道你已離我而去…而去…而去

那要不要趁著夏天來臨時

解放自己，就在今晚…今晚…今晚…

我…我…我

也知道你早已有了約

現在他來了，趕快去見他吧！       

(再見。)

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在聽這首歌時，我真的有把其中的歌詞代入《月光下的藍色男孩》的情節，發現竟然沒有違和感！

而就在前不久，B站還真的有人以此歌搭配《月光》中Chiron跟Kevin的片段，剪成一部影片@@

很剛好地，片中最美的段落

在打此篇文的不久前，獲得了MTV電影獎"最佳接吻"殊榮。

How wonderful life is, now you're by my side....

Thanks for reading everybody!