<1989：痛苦與重生> 文章整理區 @ Carpe diem!

(我想了想，還是這圖最能表達1989故事主旨 )

決定附上前言：

These songs were once about my life. Now they are about yours.

I was born in Reading, Pennsylvania on December 13, 1989. In the world we live in, much is said about when we are born and when we die. Our birthday is celebrated every year to commemorate the very first instant we came into the world, and a funeral is held to mark the day we leave it. But lately I’ve been wondering… what can be said of all the moments in between our birth and our death? The moments when we are reborn…

The debate over whether people can change is an interesting one for me to observe because it seems like all I ever do is change. All I ever do is learn from my mistakes so I don’t make the same ones again. Then I make new ones. I know people can change because it happens to me little by little every day. Every day I wake up as someone slightly new. Isn’t it wild and intriguing and beautiful to think that every day we are new?

For the last few years, I’ve woken up every day not wanting, but needing to write a new style of music. I needed to change the way I told my stories and the way they sounded. I listened to a lot of music from the decade in which I was born and listened to my intuition that it was a good thing to follow this gut feeling. I was also writing a different storyline than I’d ever told you before.

I wrote about moving to the loudest and brightest city in the world, the city I had always been overwhelmed by… until now. I think you have to know who you are and what you want in order to take on New York and all its blaring truth. I wrote about the thrill I got when I finally learned that love, to some extent, is just a game of cat and mouse. I wrote about looking back on a lost love and understanding that nothing good comes without loss and hardship and constant struggle. There is no “riding off into the sunset,” like I used to imagine. We are never out of the woods, because we are always going to be fighting for something.

I wrote about love that comes back to you just when you thought it was lost forever, and how some feelings never go out of style. I wrote about an important lesson I learned recently… that people can say whatever they want about me, but they can’t make me lose my mind. I’ve learned how to shake things off. I’ve told you my stories for years now. Some have been about coming of age. Some have been about coming undone. This is a story about coming into your own, and as a result… coming alive.

I hope you know that you’ve given me the courage to change. I hope you know that who you are is who you choose to be, and that whispers behind your back don’t define you. You are the only one who gets to decide what you will be remembered for.

From the girl who said she would never cut her hair or move to New York or find happiness in a world where she is not in love…

曾經，這些歌曲是有關我自己的人生；但現在，則是屬於你們大家的了。

我在1989年12月13日，誕生於賓州的Reading市中。在我們所生活的這個世界上，大多數談論的都是我們的出生與死亡，我們會在每一年慶祝著生日，以紀念自己呱呱墜地的那一刻，反之當我們要為離開人世留下標記的時候，會為自己舉辦葬禮。但最近我常常在想：在我們的出生與死亡之間，有沒有甚麼事情是值得去訴說的呢？像是那些令我們重獲新生的重要時刻...

在我看來，為了"人是否會改變？"而爭辯不休，是件挺有趣的事，因為"改變"，似乎就是我一直以來在做的事情：從過往經歷中記取教訓，不讓自己再犯同樣的錯，然後犯了新的錯誤....。正因為"改變"每天都一點一點地發生在我身上，所以我認為，人是可以改變的。每天早上醒來，我都感覺到自己有些微的變化...想想看，每天都能看見全新的自己，這不是件既瘋狂、迷人又美麗的事情嗎？

過去幾年，我每天起床的第一件事，就是想著要去嘗試新的音樂風格，想著如何改變自己說故事的方式，想著怎麼讓這些故事聽起來更不一樣...所以我聽了很多80年代的音樂，並勇敢地嘗試聽從自己的直覺；此外，這次我所寫的故事型態，跟先前所分享給你們的會有所不同。

這個故事，起源於這個世界上最吵雜、最亮眼的城市...紐約。直到現在，她都讓我為之傾倒。我認為，在經過這些光鮮亮麗的洗禮之後，你才會真正清楚自己是怎樣的人，自己真正想要的是什麼。而這個故事，寫的就是這種興奮的感覺，因為自己總算了解到，原來愛情，在某些層面來說，就像是一個貓追老鼠的遊戲一樣；它同時也是對一段逝去戀情的回顧，從中我體認到，美好人生的背後，難免參雜失去、痛苦及無止盡的掙扎。我曾經想像過和平的別離，但這並沒有發生...因為彼此，總是會為了某些事情而爭吵，就像我們未曾從這險境之中脫逃出來一樣。

我曾以為自己再也盼不到想要的愛情，然而它還是回來了...而這種感覺，永遠不會隨著時間而過時...此外，我從最近的經歷中學習到很重要的一件事：外界要怎麼去形容我是他們的自由，重點是別讓自己為此失去理智，所以我開始懂得甩掉一切...這些年來我不斷跟妳們分享著我自己的故事，有些是關於成長，有些是關於煩惱，而這個故事，是關於了解自我，並因此重獲新生...

我想讓你們了解，是你們給了我改變的勇氣，而你們，也可以選擇做那個最真實的自己，背後的那些耳語，並不能定義你是那一種人；只有你自己，才能決定你想以怎樣的方式被人們記住。

這段話來自於一位說過絕不會剪短頭髮或搬到紐約的女孩，她從未愛上這個世界，卻在其中找到了幸福與快樂。

開這篇文的理由一樣，為了讓大家方便找尋及瀏覽。

<1989：痛苦與重生>

痛苦篇

Chapter 1. They paid the price.

Chapter 2. Then one day he came back.

Chapter 3. He drove past her street each night.

Chapter 4. And we got lost in it once again.

Chapter 5. Timing is a funny thing.

Chapter 6. They loved each other recklessly.

番外篇